If you’re trying to eat healthy and you’re not using Amazon profusely and obsessively, you’re wasting too much time and money.
Actually, if you’re alive and you aren’t a compulsive Amazon shopper, you’re not doing life correctly.
We have saved A LOT of money with Amazon Prime!
I mean, Erin and I have this exchange about once a week, adding immeasurable entertainment value to our lives:
Me: “Couldn’t sleep last night?”
Erin: “Nope. How’d you know?”
Me: “Because my email says you bought something on Amazon at 3 AM.”
Nothing like email invoices that betray your wife’s late-night shopping sprees! Totally worth using Amazon just for that.
And, you can buy stuff like this on there:
When this thing arrived at my house, I described it as “the most Erin thing ever.” She’s the same person who turned down leftover steak pasta from Olive Garden to have peanut butter toast. So… score one for Amazon for fueling wildly out of control peanut butter addictions!
But really, we buy everything we possibly can there. If it’s not perishable, there’s a good chance we’re getting it at Amazon.
– mostly because they probably already know us by name and would let us stay there to hide from the zombies.
The thing is, there’s definitely a secret to shopping at Amazon. Done right, you can buy products for MUCH cheaper than in the store AND have it on your front doorstep sometimes by the next day. Frankly, I’m amazed that everyone doesn’t buy virtually everything on Amazon.
Especially us health weirdos.
You know those weird ingredients we buy? Like Sucanat, organic brown sugar, amaranth flour, soy-free chocolate chips, coconut flour, coconut oil, and a bajillion others?
Or, kitchen stuff like silicone muffin liners, glass baby bottles, silicone chocolate molds, glass Tupperware, tortilla presses, immersion blenders, Mistos, and ice cream makers?
I mean, in real life you’d have to go to 7 different stores and compare prices and brands to get all that stuff. It’d take days.
Or like 20 minutes on Amazon.
Sure, they raised the price a bit to $100/year, but if you’re doing this thing right, you’ll save WAY more than that. Probably just on gas driving to stores, or on the random trips to In-N-Out (East coasters you’re totally missing out on In-N-Out! Yes for the haters, In-N-Out is the “Stay Sane” part of our diet) you’ll avoid by not driving to said stores.
Without Amazon Prime, you can get free shipping on stuff only if it’s over $35, and it’s typically 5-8 day shipping.
With Amazon Prime you can have almost anything shipped for free in 2 days.
Or, the greatest thing ever:
Insane. And all I had to do was set up a portkey in my front yard for it to get here that fast.
Plus Amazon Prime has Prime Instant Video kind of like Netflix (not quite as good as Netflix but they do have some stuff that Netflix does not), Prime Music (kind of like Pandora but WAY better with no ads and unlimited skips), and Prime Photos with unlimited storage. Nice huh?
PLUS!! You can split the cost of Amazon Prime between 4 family members and friends because you can share the free shipping of your Amazon Primeness!
The biggest argument I get from people that they don’t need Amazon Prime is you can get free shipping anyway. If you bundle more stuff in the same order (to hit the annoying $35 benchmark), then you get free 5-8 day shipping.
Here’s my counter:
First, it’s only $8.33/month for Prime. Second, sometimes I want something QUICK – meaning heading out to a store. That costs money for gas, plus you don’t get the same comparison/review tools that Amazon gives you. Lastly, before I had Prime, I can’t tell you how many times I bought something I didn’t really need just to hit $35. That’s probably worth 8 measly bucks a month right there.
Review: $100/year gets you free 2-day shipping on almost anything they offer, saving you tons of money and time. Ready? You can get Amazon Prime right here with a 30 day free trial. Did I mention that if you’re a student you can get Amazon Student with a 6 month free trial AND half off of Amazon Prime? That makes your first year $25!!
2. Subscribe & Save
For the type of items you might want to buy over and over again (you know, not ice cream makers or Return of the King Blu-rays), Amazon gives you the option to set up an easy subscription and save some bucks.
Here’s what it looks like:
(Did you notice the save 15% off your entire delivery? More on that later!)
The coolest part about subscribing is that you can cancel any time, hassle free, no fees, no nothing. Just click “cancel subscription”. In fact, Erin and I cancel most of our subscriptions and set up new ones every month.
When you select Subscribe & Save, they’ll let you choose how frequently you want that item delivered. If it’s something you’re not sure you‘ll ever want again (or when you’ll want it again), select “6 months.” That way, you have a ton of time to remember to cancel your subscriptions.
If it’s something you want monthly, select monthly. This works great for toilet paper or paper towels because if they send you more before you run out, you just stock up. If it’s a great price, why not? It’s worth it to not have to worry about running out.
When you have a list of subscriptions you also save time because you don’t have to browse through Amazon all over again looking for the best deals. You already have them! If your item isn’t eligible for Subscribe & Save but you still want it monthly, you can find it on your past orders very easily and click “order again”.
You’ll notice that if you just do one item with S & S, you get 5% off. If you select 5 items for the month, you get 15% off the entire order.
That’s where the real savings come in and how me buy things for way cheap.
I know, you might not have 5 things you want every month that are eligible for Subscribe & Save – so here’s how we plan ours.
There are usually one or two things that we need that are unique for that month – a new bag of rice, apple cider vinegar.
Of course, we need 5 items to grab the 15% discount.
That’s when we look around the house and decide if we need paper towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, deodorant, or other things of that nature. We also tack on diapers and wipes.
Now for the super duper Amazon secret!! Ready? It’s called an Add-on item.
An Add-on item is a super cheap (usually) item that you have to have an order of $35 ($25 with Amazon Prime) to buy. NOW find an Add-on item that is eligible for Subscribe & Save and you are saving like Scrooge McDuck because they count towards your 5 item quota to get your 15% off!
Trust me, it’s super cool to have household stuff shipped to your front door. Ours comes in a MASSIVE box (packages of diapers and paper towels will do that) that Erin makes me carry upstairs. I’m definitely the pack horse around here.
There are two (small) downsides to S & S.
Downside #1 Managing Subscriptions
Before you say “no thanks,” check out this page about managing subscriptions.
(Click on “Your Account,” then “Your Subscribe & Save Items)
Dude, this couldn’t be any easier. You have it laid out, month by month, what you already have set up for the next 7 months! You can click on any of the items and select “edit subscription” or simply “skip delivery”.
Downside #2 Wait Time
You have to wait until the next month to get your shipment.
If today were the 4th day of the month and you set up your S & S, you wouldn’t get it until late this month or the beginning of the next month.
Here’s what we do.
We just freaking wait. Brilliant isn’t it?
Anything we need sooner, we just buy normal. But stuff like apple cider vinegar or rice usually isn’t urgent. We don’t mind waiting to get massive discounts.
Review: Subscribe & Save is completely free and lets you get up to 15% off products each month. You can cancel and set up new subscriptions every month, making this a super-duper no-brainer when it comes to shopping.
Quite a few “real food” items are eligible for S & S as well, helping us save money on weird stuff as well as not have to hunt down health stores for it.
There’s probably something ironic about a dude writing about Amazon Mom. Actually, I’m surprised the Raging Internet Feminists (RIFs) haven’t started some ruckus on Facebook about the name because Amazon is so “offensive” in assuming only women buy diapers online.
From a guy who buys diapers with his wife’s Amazon Mom account: Please, don’t start an anti-Amazon Mom movement on my account.
Can you imagine the resulting crapstorm if they changed it to “Amazon Dad?” We could change it to The Politically Correct Amazon Mom And Dad Or Two Moms Or Two Dads Or Transgenders Who Are Either Mom Or Dad (TPCAMADOTMOTDOTWAEMOD).
Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Back to Amazon!
Amazon Mom has been a lifesaver. Mostly because we have ALL THE DIAPERS we will ever need. We have a standing monthly subscription and have roughly 17 million diapers at our house. Seriously, peace of mind when it comes to diapers isn’t something to undervalue.
When you buy or set up a subscription for diapers, you get 20% off! Plus with the Subscribe & Save option it counts towards one of your 5 items to get your 15% off – making it even easier to reach that 5 item quota.
Another perk for Amazon Moms is that you get exclusive coupons to clip! The coupons are mostly for household items, food, and baby stuff. All you have to do is click and you got your coupon clipped. Super easy to save a buck or two. Here’s what those look like:
Review: Sign up (for free!) for Amazon Mom and set up subscriptions for diapers and wipes. Save bucks.
4. Amazon Wish Lists/Registry
Okay so this isn’t really a thing to add to this list but it’s a nice random perk!
Amazon registry and wish lists are awesome.
Ever had someone ask you what you want for your birthday or Christmas and you draw a blank? Instead, make a wish list and send it to them!
You can add all your family and friends from Facebook to your wish lists and it will have their birthday for you. If they have a wish list it will show up on your Amazon wish list for that person. If they don’t have a list, then you can make your own list of things you think they will like. Or let Amazon make a list for you by adding the person’s interests and age.
Have you ever thought of an amazing gift for someone but you wanted to wait until their birthday, then you forget what that amazing idea was? Never again!
And let’s be honest, how many birthdays have you forgotten? Set up a reminder to buy them something!
Erin made her baby shower registry on Amazon. As a member of Amazon Mom she was able to get 15% off of the items on her list she didn’t get at her baby shower. Nice!
One last cool thing about Amazon wish lists/registry, if you find something for a better price somewhere else you can mark the item as bought even if you don’t buy it on Amazon. No more worrying about buying duplicate gifts.
Hopefully you realize that all this isn’t very confusing, except the Feminist rant because they’re always confusing *tazes self for bringing up feminism again*.
Here’s my totally awesome wrap-up for this post:
1. Amazon Prime = save time and money
2. Subscribe & Save = save time and money
3. Amazon Mom = save time and money
4. Amazon Wish Lists/Registry = never forget another birthday gift again and save money
See? Easy enough 🙂
Do you have any other tips or tricks you use to dominate Amazon? Lemme know!